everyone is single if you try hard enough
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
