Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
