2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
