Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
