I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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