He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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