Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
