your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
