Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
