Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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