We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
