First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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