She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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