the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
