ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
