how can u be prego again
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
