you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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