Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I looked at my own cervix.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish you could order shots online.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
