I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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