I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
