i think my tv is drunk
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
