You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Houston, we have a blender
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
