We're like a lot better than the average bears
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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