the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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