My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
