Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
