Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
