matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
