i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
