So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
