we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
