she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
