The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
