you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
