What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
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Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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