Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
