his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
