doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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