we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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