I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize