so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
