you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize