Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
