Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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