Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
