Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
