turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
where are my eyebrows?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
