you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
