Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We have started to decorate penises.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize