well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Houston, we have a blender
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
