What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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