I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
