at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
