Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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