he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
