At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
