It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize