ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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